Hemorrhage

忏悔

2009-05-13T19:14:00.002+08:00

我想忏悔

是不是我做了不值得被救赎的事情

是因为我内心的黑暗么希翼毁灭不是我的初衷

why put the curse on me

i wanna be released

i shall be released

我知道你告诉过我人只能自救

我已经承受过奇迹对么

我知道只有去了才知道

感激无从说起我感激过你教会我承受我现在只求一个救赎

如果这是代价我希望你牵住我的手不要再遗弃我离去带上我吧除了教会我勇敢我想你也毫无办法你从来不给我答案我虽然祝福你可是却为什么这么难过

继续的抱怨只会成为一个废人我必须承受这些给点暗示好么不知道从多久开始

天使配有黑色的翅膀成为了浪漫古巴的乐手放弃了有力的鼓点 bosanova开始浪漫我看着你的嘴唇读出了浪漫么我抬起你的脸可以更浪漫么你亲吻我的额头会不会真的很浪漫

这个世界从来不是浪漫的或者又过分浪漫浪漫到互相连篇的认为自己总会得到或者自己始终得不到这是我们的浪漫

注视着一个无赖的眼睛的时候那是种什么样子的悲情

Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
You been out ridin fences for so long now
Oh, youre a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin you
Can hurt you somehow

Don you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
Shell beat you if shes able
You know the queen of heats is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you cant get

Desperado, oh, you aint gettin no youger
Your pain and your hunger, theyre drivin you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, thats just some people talkin
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Dont your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky wont snow and the sun wont shine
Its hard to tell the night time from the day
Youre loosin all your highs and lows
Aint it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin, but theres a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before its too late

.

2009-05-09T00:31:00.004+08:00

为什么就这样吧

然后为什么就这样让我走了~

你可知道就这样 2个人就真的都放弃了

i 'll never tell u i love u .记下.

听说人死后老沉老沉的

是不是人死了所有的罪恶都被原谅所以就 let him go ?

是不是我最后做的一件事也是带走生前的所有罪恶~ 希望是这样

又听说人死后把血放干那样的重量是一个小孩子也可以承受的至于孩子多小不知道

如果罪恶流淌在血液里那这被剥夺的罪恶又会何去何从

我觉得每个人都应该对很多人说声对不起或多或少你都伤害过他们但是又觉得一个巴掌拍不响不如说对方自找好了可是很多时候故意忽略别人的感受因为你不再需要他你不再珍惜和他曾经拥有的一切你能感测到什么但是故意回避掉了或者你会在某一个时间点想起某个人突然想起和他的一切然后疯狂的找他谈论着过去的一切很那以后继续的一切然后得到满足的发泄后又转身轻松的走掉~~ 这种廉价的感情让人觉得恶心了

我太恶心这些了这很正常也不说怎么了就是恶心这些了因为这些人都 xxxx如何了我甚至完全懒得费事描述现在的人嘴巴都很能说也都很有想法有些人不损人不成活有些人不亢奋不成活还有很多人各种不成活

其实我是想说我的确是自找了很多烦恼这个不是无病呻吟不是无中生有更不是成长的烦恼我都23岁了诶而且我是真正的看到了我看得很清楚我当然我也知道我想要的太奢侈我绝对不可能成为一个波西米亚也不会成为嬉皮士更无关后来的各种部落人群~ 因为我真的不想当然如果人只是人就没有部落可言人不能只是人当然我是什么我也还不太清楚最近的事太让人恶心可我彻底没法对着谁说出点什么特别如果还要一件一件说出来这个也纯属胡扯 08年国内某片里面有句话的确很经典点背不能怪社会

不过我还是要说的一件事我每天的盼头就是每次去买鸳鸯师傅会帮我煮新鲜的西冷茶但是却辞职了或者被辞了 whatever 就是不在做了也就是我没法喝到好喝的咖啡了再怎么都可以只要让我每天起床以后有喝到一杯这样的咖啡就很温暖了其实人和人的关系可以简单的真诚我因为这个师傅走了很难过可是如果说信任其实也就这么简单我也承认我那么点背的确是因为我太容易被骗太容易信任很多也一直总是说一定会好的就忘掉

从此刻开始我一定要做到一点是什么就是我要做个假假的人理由就太简单了~~ 这个世界没有我你们所有人没有我照样滋滋润润活得轻盈得很我也许妥协过但绝对不是妥协我想过也许某一天我会妥协因为受不了这种该死的命运因为我始终渴望普通女孩子能有的幸福不过现在我很清醒也没有 insane 我想妥协我的下降双子也不会让我妥协的我的双子在和金牛打架呢一打好多年说到这个打架平子果然是第一眼的理想情人 ~~ T .T 很强很强就他一个人能抑制住不过很搞的是我对这个第一眼情人的全名一直不太记都是后来打到揭老底了才知道全名叫平子真子 ~~~@ @ 现在2兄弟好好过日子吧~ 不然就真的很nothing

当然我亦不是抱怨总是抱怨那这个人就废了

可是我又想说关于 dylan

为什么我又想说dylan 因为他和我预想的是对的我总觉得他是那种人很久以前我告诉过谁我说 dylan 知道自己在做什么他很厉害对我来说我不需要一个 hero 我需要的是一个清醒理智的人但是对方不置可否太多人没法看到我大部分时候太感性我怕这个我很怕稍微接触一点点就会诱发很多很多 dylan不一样他总是知道自己看到的是什么自己在做什么然而他说他是这样的不管哪个时期他都知道他在做什么这点很重要我每次都不知道自己在做什么当我听到dylan的声音我就很想让他告诉我我该做什么他不算是个superstar吧他总是在说事而且也许还能让你明白如果他喜欢一本书他会说这本书很厉害

听得久了感觉你和他一起坐在破烂却奢华的天鹅绒沙发上面也许有叶子之类的他在讲故事可能你会觉得他的唾沫已经悬置你的鼻尖他甚至不在歌唱他在念不管怎么样对我来说他的东西感染力始终超强然而他也很强调的是生活的体验他看中民谣不管后来的所有民谣不是种风格是一种精神 dylan说那不像以前3分钟的45转的ep 在那个已经过去的密纹时代

蒙特卡罗序列延展

2009-03-09T22:36:00.000+08:00

1 蒙特卡罗方法的基本思想与解题步骤

蒙特卡罗方法也称随机模拟法、随机抽样技术或统计试验法，其基本思想是：为了求解数学、物理、工程技术或生产管理等方面的问题，首先建立一个与求解有关的概率模型或随机过程，使它的参数等于所求问题的解，然后通过对模型或过程的观察或抽样试验来计算所求参数的统计特征，最后给出所求解的近似值。概率统计是蒙特卡罗方法的理论基础，其基本手段是随机抽样或随机变量抽样，对于那些难以进行的或条件不满足的试验而言，是一种极好的替代方法。

蒙特卡罗方法可以解决随机性问题和确定性问题，求解确定性问题的基本步骤如下：（1）建立一个与求解有关的概率模型，使求解为所构建模型的概率分布或数学期望；（2）对模型进行随机抽样观察，即产生随机变量；（3）用算术平均数作为所求解的近似平均值，给出所求解的统计估计值的方差或标准差，即解的精度。

2 伪随机数的产生

利用蒙特卡罗方法以模拟一个实际问题，需要用到各种随机变量，因此随机数的产生非常重要。在计算机上的产生随机数的方法有三类：（1）把已有的随机数表输入机器；（2）用物理方法产生真正的随机数；（3）用数学方法产生伪随机数。利用数学方法产生随机数具有占有内存小，产生速度快，便于重复，不受计算机条件限制等优点，因而被大量使用。因利用数学方法产生的随机数是根据确定的递推公式计算的，存在周期现象，不满足真正随机数的要求，这种随机数称为伪随机数。在实际应用中，只要伪随机数能通过一系列统计检验，我们还是可以把它当做“真正”的随机数来应用。

产生随机数的数学方法，最常应用的有：

同余法。其中，剩同余法和混合同余法能够产生周期长且统计性质优的数值序列，因而应用也最广。

平方取中法。当位数较少时，产生的伪随机数领导于零的较多，位数越来越多时，偏于零的就会越来越少。

易位指令加法。方法简便，速度较快，其所产生的随机数随机性一般较好，但周期不定，且通常很短；随着初选值的不同，所产生的随机数序列长度也有很大差异。

3 随机数的检验

随机数的统计检验，就是根据（0，1）上均匀总体简单子样式的性质来研究所产生的随机数序列的相应性质，进行比较鉴别，视其差异显著与否，决定取舍。如果所产生的伪随机数经过各类检验，其差异均不显著，我们即接受其为均匀总体随机数的子样。

需要指出的是，若所产生的伪随机数序列通过某种随机性检验，只是说它与随机数的性质和规律不矛盾，我们不能扛绝它，并不是说它们已经具有随机数的性质与规律。因此检验所产生的伪随机数序列时，所通过的检验越多，随机数序列就越靠得住。随机数的检验方法有：

参数检验，检验其分布参数的观察值与理论值的差异显著性。

均匀性检验，又称频率检验，意在检验伪随机数的经验频率与理论频率的差异是否显著。

独立性检验，即检验所产生的伪随机数的独立性和统计相关是否异常，包括相关关系检验和联列表检验等。

组合规律检测，按随机数出现的先后次序，根据一定的规律组合，检验其组合的观察值与理值是不否有显著差异，包括距离检验和配套检验等。

游程检验，把随机数序列按一定的规则进行分类，分为正负游程检验和升降游程检验等。

4 随机变量抽样

在得到（0，1）上均匀分布的随机数序列之后，需给出概率模型中不同分布随机变量的抽样方法，才能进行蒙特卡罗模拟。常用的帛样方法有：

离散型随机变量抽样；

连续性随机变量抽样，又分为直接抽样、变换抽样、舍选抽样、复合抽样、近似值抽样等。

5 蒙特卡罗模拟结果的统计与处理

对于一个具体问题，通过建立概率模型，产生随机数不胜数及对概率模型所进行的随机抽样试验，即得到所需要的模拟结果。蒙特卡罗方法最终以算术平均数作为所求解的近似平均数，并对其精度即方差哐标准差进行计算。

6 计算机模拟研究

20世纪60年代以来，利用计算机模拟研究生物群众的变化过程已经广泛开展起来，已有的研究结果表明，利用这种方法以研究植物遗传育种理论与实践问题，不仅可行，而且可靠。众所周知，植物遗传育种工作主要在田间进行，对其进行研究会受到试验材料、试验规模、试验条件等人物力因素的限制；而蒙特卡罗模拟的内容和范围可以人工设定，不受自然条件的限制，因而受到植物遗传育种学家的广泛关注。

利用计算机模拟植物遗传育种时，为保证模拟结果的准确可靠，需注意改进模拟方法。首行忽建立的遗传模型必须准确可靠；其次必须利用能产生周期长且统计性质优的伪随机数产生方法；最后还要先用合适的计算机语言，运用程序设计技巧，设计出高效率的计算机模拟算法，以减少机器占用内存和提高机器运转效率。

7 修饰回交育种方法的计算机模拟研究

修饰回交育种方法是简单回交育种方法的扩展，其特点是在育种过程中采用不同的轮回亲本进行回交。作为常规育种方法以，修饰回交法在植物育种实践中作了一些探索，取得了一些成果，但很不全面，尤其是在对轮回亲本的多基因性状的改进作用方面的研究更少，并且缺乏与其它育种方法其主要影响因素进行研究，内容涉及：

不同育种群体大小、误差的相对大小、造反比例和微效基因信点数以及非轮回亲本目标主基因性状的显示隐性、轮回亲本多基因估系的构成及其在回交中的搭配方式，引进目标主基因性状对由多基因性状改良的影响。

为了对修饰回交育种方法作更全面细臻的比较分析，在模拟试验中还设立了简单回交法及三产法的对照模拟试验。

模拟试验的基本方法

采用了改良混合同集体利益法以产生（0，1）之间均匀分布的伪随机数，其公式为：

产生的伪随机数序列，经参数检验（平均数、方差、二阶原点距），独立性检验，均匀性检验，符合均匀随机数的统计要求，该随机数序列通过函数变换为正态随机数后，其次数检验结果符合正态分布。

在模拟试验之中，设某一个体多基因性状的表型值为P，则有：（略）

模拟程序采用FORTRAN语言编制，整个模拟处理工作在CV-386SX计算机上进行。计算机程序的编写思路与田间育种的一般思路基本相同，其中的随机过程和随机分布，如配子的形成等，是通过随机数来解决的。修饰回交育种方法的计算机模拟流程框图见图1。

为了方便对源程序进行调虎离山试和修改，增强源程序的可阅读性，在程序的编制过程中采用了模块化设计方法，整个模拟源程序由1个模拟主程序，22个例行子程序和6个函数子程序组成。

模拟试验结果在育种实践中的意义和应用

本研究扩育了修饰回交法的内容，弥补了田间试验研究的不足，同时比较了简单回交和三交法所取得的结果。

单回交法的育种效果受育种群体大小、总选择比例、误差相对大小的影响很小，经过6-7世代后，群体基本上纯合于同一基因型，这和育种实际经验是一致的，因此在简单地将一个目标主基因性状转移到一个综合性状较好的品种中去的时候，可以使用这种方法。

利用杂交和重级的方式，可在三交育种法中引进目标主基因性状，来改进和提高多基因性状，因此在实现转移目标主基因性状的同时，能有效改进和提高多基因性状，这在应用于人工杂交比较困难的作用（如大豆）时尤其有效但是要达到预期育种目标，需要的育种世代较长，育种群体较大厅00、500）；在较小的育种群体（200、100）内，总造反比例过小（10%）会引起群体中个体的微效增效基因的大量丢失，且其育种效果受误差的相对大小及跗漂变的影响很大。由于实际育种中群体不可能太大所以三交法在实际中的应用效果会受到很大影响。

修饰回交法可以在转移目标主基因性状的同时改进多基因性状。这种方法以在前期的回交世代里具有简单回交法的特征，在后来的自交世代里，具有三交法的方法特征，因此具有使用周期较短，简单易行，且可以有效地拓宽后代群体的遗传基础等特点。在本模拟试验中，修饰回交法的育种效果受育种群体大小影响很小，其第十六世代的群体平均数在育种群体大小为1000和100的相差无几；减小总选择比例时，群体平均数增加；与三交法相比，在多基因位点数为20的民政部下，这种方法在回交世代里仍可有效地将来源于不同轮回亲本上的微效增效基因聚集起来；在后期的自交世代里，育种效果受环境误差的影响较三交法的小，因此修饰回交法在应用于受误差影响较大（0。95）和较多微效多基因位（20对）控制的多基因性状进行改良时，会较三交法更加有效。

在以下条件下应用修饰回交法较为合适：（1）某种作物的育种群体受各种条件限制不宜太大或人工杂交比较容易；（2）所需转移的目标主基因性状鉴定困难或鉴定费用昂贵；（3）所需改进的多基因性状鉴定困难或鉴定费用昂贵，或受误差影响较大或控制的多基因位点较多。

在实际育种应用中可采用下列方式应用修饰回交法：育种群体大小以100，选择两个微效增效基因位点有相重的材料作轮回亲本，以相间方式参与回交，回交三次左右后进入自交。仅在自交世代对多基因性状进行严格选择，总选择比例以10%为宜，并可结合使用株系鉴定或后裔测验技术，以增加选择准确性，缩短育种周期，提高育种效率。

在一起

2009-03-01T20:00:00.002+08:00

嘿嘿我们终于在一起了

不容易不容易我终于勇敢了 yeah

你说你长大了那么一点点于是我也跟着你长大了一点点

你说你不要像我们的大学一样没有结果我们都要好好努力摁虽然你一直让我努力可是么有信仰的我怎么也是相当懦弱也就只可能是个悲剧

今天路过4中想找以前那个蛋烘糕大爷没见着

我真不能走那条路回家本来身上就没钱 50元钱过了一个礼拜分钱没少一走那条路路过那个书店洗白白没钱了- -唉现在的我身上所有的积蓄也就够买几本书

黄papa说得挺好紧急条件允许一直读书反正吃喝不愁文凭高还有假期钱也够用周围的人也不差就这样过日子也挺不错- -真是说出我心生了= =

长大一点点的我们更加勇敢了

我能想到的诗人

2009-02-26T18:27:00.002+08:00

前段时间在外地在路上

很想起海子的劈柴喂马想到这里总很悲哀

谁此刻没有房子就不必建造

谁此刻孤独就永远孤独

还想到柏桦不知道他现在是不是还住在银都

说到银都以前好朋友的好朋友住在银都

那天胖子吃饭也是去了银都

至于住银都里面都是些什么人我就不说了- -

还有特拉克尔

一只蓝色的动物愿膜拜死亡
毛骨悚然一件空荡的大衣飘落

兰波是个祸害- -

（那年脏脏的孩子人手一本兰波的诗集无意识的约定为暗号我想起那个男孩说的我不知道你是不是和我想的一样我喜欢的就是要让别人知道我们那个年代我们这种人都这样的特轧眼 ....突然想起了现在成都的圈内烟中南海8毫克囧啊好像半年多历史了？还是一年了？我还是继续 10毫克吧~)

林中有一只鸟，它的歌声使你驻足，使你脸红。
有一口钟从不鸣响。
有一片沼泽藏着白野兽的洞。
有一座教堂沉落又升起一片湖泊。
有一辆被弃的小车披着饰带，顺着林间小路滑落。
有一群装扮好的小演员穿过丛林边缘的大路。
有一个结局：当你饥渴，便有人将你驱逐。

还想到贵烟的经典台词贵是一种态度

他的态度未必不对但是很明晰的是不久以后我们都该得拿出态度了

至于今天突发奇想的去听陈绮贞的歌真听得煎熬怎么会萌发这个想法- -

keen yellow planet 回头听听这个又能接受了想来以前那段时间确实不该听多的听多了

再回回头该听多的怎么听也不嫌多了

I love U

2009-02-22T15:59:00.002+08:00

放开你是因为我真的爱你我关注你 he said.

i wondered why i stayed here during these years whitout protecting our precious love.

i wondered why i had been leaving all the time.

我爱你

first love last love.

我怕老掉更害怕死掉

我希望做你正常的女朋友正常的那一部分

我还没有准备好生活于是圈桎了两个人

明天开始感受生活关注生活感动生活

你爱我很重要我爱你更重要

我爱你和在一起如果之前我一直选择我爱你那么对不起我要我们在一起.

everlasting~

2009-02-09T22:47:00.002+08:00

这里的哪里过剩的电影

更加过剩的后背名单

也许足够的胶片

却是不足的颜色

今天去送黄papa的飞机

大家在这个时间点上狰狞抽搐

我们需要继续

继续我们的自由

看过春光乍泄以后张震的那个角色是最常想起的多么久宿愿中的带一根录音笔坐在每个地方的大巴和公交车上隙着眼睛一个按钮play 然后靠头偷笑

用舌头贪婪安抚或者勾引引自己上钩钩自己灵魂

很轻很轻需要钩住钩住

牵着牵着告诉告诉

告诉着我们该朝哪里走掉是的应该是这样如此的走掉啊

我们需要自由意识真的 ~ 为什么没有人信没有人听呢

如果眼睛很重要如果音乐被眼睛看到了

黄papa说克拉玛依是一个薄情男寡义女的盛产地 - - 我问他yy呢他说那还有得说么再说肯出钱找女人太容易了 - -

不过黄papa 是我见过的最正派的现代青年偷着表扬下说实话我基于几点是很佩服他的

我和y

2009-02-06T12:56:00.002+08:00

那后来我们一直保持着固定的距离固定的姿态和对方固定的时间上的联系

话说2009年啊

出门前虽然已被告之一万个小心但是仍然还是很折标了- -

习惯就好了

其实我很喜欢这次的出门红因为旅途很愉快先不说导游小朋友

从凯里到西江要在雷山转车,如此小的一个县城,完全可以路过的,突然听到了郑钧的老歌- -我对这个地方立马长了印象

到了西江一下车刚进入主题走到一个旅店楼下第一眼看过去那个男人到肩的头发,个头有点高,电脑里放着许巍的完美生活当他回过头的时候 4个眼睛该对准的对准- - 这样停顿了几秒钟 2个嘴巴都咧开了果然还是人以群分同类只要眼神对一下就明了

从苗寨走的那天刚下楼前面一摩托上的哥们- - 开着公放在放无地自容- -

回到凯里以后变像回到了现实

中间的可以略过

一直到我发烧得急着赶回去不然事情很麻烦了也就不说机场碰到的诸多蹩脚事儿

说一个很疑似lsd症状发烧然后坐飞机感觉真不一般一上飞机像菜青虫一样趟坐着眼睛微闭寐着女生们先生们晚上好, 飞机马上起飞, 请系好安全带, 整感觉这个飞机老抽了 , 还没起飞就感觉骨质疏松要起飞不容易响完了称唤完了再起飞. 我以为起飞不了了, 既然起飞, 那就继续飞吧, 飞机客舱电突然断了3次每次断个3秒钟- -果然老抽了要不行了, 美女姐姐站我旁边,一脸熟视无睹之淡定, 我继续寐着吧, 晚上的飞机是很昏暗的, 我突然发现 lcd在张张合合- -突然那前面一支眼睛长在两边的扁扁大大的鱼在那前面游走- -好吧我致幻了我继续闭眼眼睛的缝隙可以看到自己的白色衣服像快要气化了, 内部温度太高了 ,头实在痛趟了会觉得小腿和头部在发生置换作用腰部被延续着伸展运动像12帧动画的虚影

我最喜欢的吉他手会继续弹下去么

也许我们会在不太长也不太短的以后的某天结婚然后每年上半年在这里下半年在那里也许这些见不到你的日子

海子大哥我也快到你那个年龄了我们都长大了从教科书上遇见你的第一次到现在也过了好多好多年怎样的灵魂才能如此的渴望

我一直很想知道灵魂到底居住在脑袋心脏或者贯穿全身一一对应

我不是没有宗教信仰我相信命和运也相信个人价值

为什么这些年轻的生命都一个人承担着无法承担的悲痛

你是最伟大的旁观者

诅咒很强大

2008-12-28T16:17:00.002+08:00

等到事情告一段落的时候

现在我开始回忆这些嘈杂

好像我如果好过一点点就一点点

会祸及人类幸福- -

从小到大只要是关键时刻总会出问题

但是就是死不了

从我 97年从童贩子手里面跑出来的时候这个世界的冰冷

我已经开始慢慢麻木了

希翼背后的背叛

幸福后面的无耻

其实都是很小的事

点背好了

话说今天设计 6个小时考试

告诉 pa 8点半响我电话闹钟也定了2个

结果当天电话莫名其妙无音了

就是无音了我打出去电话连嘟嘟声都听不到诶

12点起来赶去考场仍然交图了 ~

我很想笑也许刚开始的时候诅咒加上来我很愤怒

可是太多年了在固定生存地点躲躲藏藏逃逸的生活

让我对着无端的一直尾随身后的小事失调已经只能笑了

我有时理解自己碰到无病呻吟或者自己放弃自己行为的家伙很想上去抽一掌

我只是被小事不断烦身可是一直还是活着至少还活着而且表面上

还潇洒自由

看嘛看嘛~~刚才那秒钟点烟·～烧到过滤嘴了 - -

更别说经常关键敢图时期不是软件莫名其妙秀逗就是停电

更别说几年前的电脑失踪和 1周 a掉 4部手机了

什么要出国了父亲病倒了是我不断错过还是啥

真的嘲笑我的懦弱

生活中的一切失调麻木了唉

最烦躁的是身边一直是一个人处理所有失调一直没有依靠

喜欢阿飞正传不是吹的就算很俗气可是真的一直在慢慢的飞飞了一个有一个的圈子

没有歇脚的地方一直没有

经常看看别人我都会觉得好可悲又可怜可是自己真的是万般无奈不如可怜自己

可是可怜自己以后的种种是没有尽头的失眠和不知所措

再潇洒再自由这么多年的无奈终究始终会让一个人真的很崩溃特别是我这样懦弱的灵魂 - -

有时真的好希望有一个人懂我就好了

回家开了电脑听着 fugs 无聊的怨怨自唉我做不到了自娱自乐我再也做不下去了

旁观者的自白再也没有了自由意识

我喜欢美国不是因为什么

那只是我想象中的自由之地

如果没有任何希弗的人可以到了一个地方然后自由的说我热爱这片土地

那会是多大的奢望然而美国好像离这里最近

无关乎美国的一切闹剧

就像典型的美国精神

如果是个美国人他不会纠结热爱的只是祖国只是土地与其他无关

american dream 更不是过往云烟依然存在啊

日本可以以他的方式侵入众多人灵的大脑

就算台湾的小情绪可以让整个中国年轻的一代大部分无意义的作祟

始终我属于旁观者的绝缘区域 - -

只是现在好累被嫌弃的松子的一生- -还真是只有笑着了

如果我也在找自己为什么总是笑脸长春

我想回答我不知道为什么我的嘴巴会具有自由意识自我隙缝

但是我知道除了笑我无能为力

想到了那些不断出现的灵魂那些男孩那些女孩都死掉了死在了某个角落

我也终究会浑浑噩噩的死在某个角落

关于爱情我也许仍然会无意义的执着就算再怎么样也会始终揣怀希望

因为没有了欺骗的世界太空乏了

没有人来欺骗我的时候也只能自己骗下自己啦

始终还是太容易被感动小小的一点点让我能感动太久

改把我的敏感藏起来藏在哪我一直在躲藏啊

如果可以牵手一直下去啊现在的我好无力啊

脑子就是一炮屎什么都抱怨不了了也不知道自己说什么了

诶我们商量下你就给我一点点的好过一点点别每走一步都给我落阱真的

我已经寸步难行了你告诉我你是谁你只要让我好过一点点我每天带十字架？带五角星？

都可以没问题只要好过一点点

这个世界果然背叛了上帝但是还是会有大麻~

我同居了

2008-12-04T00:40:00.003+08:00

如果野猫了一辈子突然被人抱回家

然后洗了澡肯定惊慌失措了

我抱回了一只黑猫纯黑的黑猫和我所描述和我所解构的和我之前所神话掉的黑猫一个样子

于是我看到他吧他勾引回家了

他和我很不客气

鸡腿直接吃了

吃完直接到电脑桌下面蹲着距离进家门才一个小时- -

我没想过我的生活会多出什么人或者动物更没想过

每天跟我一起听歌看书发呆观察蜘蛛

他会成为摇滚猫王的

摁还敢来电我 = =

我的生活在变化然而我看见了

呵呵～

黑猫是软软的

和冰冷的世界和冰冷的时间是不仅是温度上的差异

我第一次接触他的身体颤了一下是软软的生命的柔韧感

和烟和唱片和键盘的密度太不一样

和人性化的电脑桌面和所有身边的人造物的质感太不一样

身体不曾这样接触一个另外一个生物如此随意

没有抱过父母男朋友 - - 基本也没怎么抱过狗几近更没抱过

但是在狗面前总得给他几分面子上去挠两下因为狗的主人是人比较可怕

我突然很想 y 也许触感上的相仿

我不喜欢狗或者猫能现实化的养什么也许只有黑猫吧黑猫也许好像偏离了猫的概念不

好像平安夜一如既往的在很多天之前开始成为沸腾的主题

想起了 Nazareth的名字 Jesus of Nazareth ？他们想说什么呢那时的北部以色列和现在有多大的区别呢？

对了突然想起克拉玛依的一个乐队叫楼兰盒子

Vir gin 力量很强大 virgin mary for the world

摁在这里依然是太君头上还得有高人管

在那里依然是圣人还是得处女生

其实很怕优良人种培育方案因为我应该是死掉的第一波= =

farewell my lover

2008-11-21T18:39:00.002+08:00

farewell my lover~

er 我想起我有很久没睡过完整的觉了

你走了的那一刻我开始睡睡了几天几夜我也不知道

睡到自然醒了转个身继续睡 - -

我似乎之前没有想过飞逝的时间

没有真正站在十字路口回头凝视

可是现在真的发现过了这么久仍然是这样

显然我不清楚这段时间我是怎么过来的

这段时间 rhcp散了我听起了 jm的情歌众多老人 08年出了新专众多小清新不断调用清新万能和弦

er 你问我有没有好好努力

我说 er比以前好吧

你说不努力好惨的

我不知道过了多久一直不知道有时也许很能睡有时几近不需要睡眠我想起了 cash back

这个世界真的很大他允许包容同化掉那么多不一样的轨道

你和我终于敢于说出我们那个村这个词了不管曾经怎么避讳唾弃推卸掉这种东西

显然的确存在

我只想问我自己我睡醒了么

你每次问我我都觉得背负了两个人的梦想好奇怪好茫然

现在想来男孩都是很简单这个世界太多故事太多浪漫

下次看到区波我真的会问他哪里可以买到晶体管收音机虾或者我想问问他他觉得晶体管收音机是怎么样的是不是和我一样误会掉了 - -

我还想问问那个氏族作风明显的家伙你依然是个 musician 么

呵呵真的不知道我的朋友们在我冬眠的时候都做了些什么

我突然觉得我很冷

一直到我发现现在是 11月了大家都穿秋裤了

也许过几天下雪了我知道我为什么冷了

我一直以为现在才9月份你刚过完生日我还在奇怪怎么我今年这么怕冷穿了这么多

我们看着对方发现对方都还是个孩子

我依然是个学生啊！- -

你说走了～想你～

farewell my lover~

最美好

2008-11-19T13:19:00.001+08:00

也许是我

我以为的那个最美好的时光

Close your eyes~

I know it all seems like we're losing our minds

We got shampoo and warfare all over the headlines
I know it's all hype and violence we see
And they never seem to mention the likes of you and me

I know it seems like we're losing our minds,
and things ain't gonna get better
I know it seems like we're losing our minds,
but we can't change this, it's just the way it is

Close your eyes, it's all just noises in your head
Close your eyes, it's all just noises in your head

You and her can move mountains
All you give, but he can't buy
And the danger keeps on coming,
but it's alright 'cuz we got each other

I know it seems like we're losing our minds,
and things ain't gonna get better
I know it seems like we're losing our minds,
but we can't change this, it's just the way it is

Close your eyes, it's all just noises in your head
Close your eyes, it's all just noises in your head
Close your eyes, it's all just noises in your head
Close your eyes, it's all just noises in your head

It's all just noises in your head
It's all just...
It's all just noises in your head
It's all just...

绿化电脑的日子

2008-11-12T00:34:00.004+08:00

人都进化到这个份上怎么能还执拗 function <> beauty

说来很嫉妒joan baez.真的很嫉妒她活在了一个近乎完美的时代

当然每当听到她和dylan对着一个话筒排放时这种嫉妒 can not explain and i can never say.

总是有那么固定的角色指定给某些固定的人

然而上帝的审美有时就只是定义在粗劣的复制品卑劣的 proxy

但是偶尔也会象个创世者一样具有预见性完美性持久性

我真不承认 joan baez的声线近乎生硬的粘附在吉他弦上不管怎样都活蹦乱跳的捣腾

她一直秉持的信念？

其实我很爱她

蛋青色柔情色粉青色血青色青色系的流行真是指日可待啊完美符合这个癫狂发春的青色年代因为如果不青色点不算是当代生物

即使我为这个 fusion 的姿态流连忘返即使怎么也会重复的回到 fusion带给我的一切

该死的居然摒弃了一切的欺骗竟然忘记了欺骗的美好

除了真的甘愿在墨脱呆一辈子这个世界上还是有很多值得去做的事情

这个季节的地球哪里最浪漫

Luna 比 Artemis要好听点呢 ~ ^ ^

重温下这被一再遗弃的身体

过了那个点以后看看也许还是会怀念吧就像被抹掉的 70代

的确那一点点的路程公里上的风景不是对一个人来说是的对每个人来说都是

注定是被抛弃的生命注定是如此的残像随时伴随着残响甚至不屑于自己影子的挽留不如我们去水下吧 ~

正道

2008-11-01T02:32:00.003+08:00

有人可以理解么
当没什么可以给的时候只能选择离开

当每条路都只有一个人的时候没有情节没有故事没有背景音乐没有幕后名单

从开始到结束一直在奢望的东西始终没有办法和平

如果我现在死去那之后会去找谁应该是我怎么也不会忘记的人吧

我可以牵着你的手一直这么跑下去么以前以为我可以
你可以弹吉他么可以穿着白色衬衣牛仔裤帆布鞋么一直这样下去
如果不可以能不能现在死去为什么人不能够死掉

不管这个星球会怎么变异活着的始终还是一如既往的活着不会有任何改变甚至不用支付相对的代价
听说有些人把为什么想通了就可以不用死掉也可以制造消失的效果
对我恨你们恨这些血淋淋的肉体恨这些肆无忌惮的想象力
一直以为
我虽然不知道我是什么可是我知道我不是什么
可是我却是那个最不是的什么

天灾

2008-10-13T20:35:00.003+08:00

有男人的直着有女人的傻
你说我还是女孩你说我不是女人
你说我很迷茫你说我要改变

我什么都没说
那个叫crow的男孩说他有梦想
那个魔羯座的男孩说他要改变
那个天平座的男孩挣扎着沉默

原来大家都急着赶死

我国产韩产连续剧没看好多
我不知道有那么多的人得癌症更不知道得癌症是颂扬浪漫的跃动因子

我们在西海岸我们有黄沙尘
我们在次大陆我们有黄金

拜天拜地求鬼求神
鬼在哪我在哪没上天堂也没去地狱没见上帝更没见阎王
不见庙宇再见陵墓
你说我将会到哪
我总会回到你怀抱
我要抱抱我们要抱抱

你每次一本正经的说
我每次穿堂风样的听

最b的就是这个世界把人都弄的2b了
玩什么不如玩音乐吧玩音乐不如玩摇滚吧
拿起guitar 你是个英雄
BG演了个guitar 英雄那年的guitar hero 被人屏弃啦屏弃啦屏弃啦
他们说如果那年没有飞机坠毁坠毁
他们说如果那年没有海市蜃楼海市蜃楼
他们说如果那年唱片发行出第一张封面封面

如果我告诉你我在听什么
如果你喜欢我的幼稚却无力承担
如果你喜欢我的消极却只是沉醉于消极的美丽

请让我在适当的时候放出那根毒针蛰下你释放出我
我很想睡觉了但是十二点还要起来
我想这是最后一次最后一次等待你去定义那些负字符
will u marry me ？
i used 2 b serious .
i used 2 b nervous .
突然发现对话很好看

其实我受不了啦受不了啦
什么狗屁浪漫
我听也不想听看有不想看连躲都躲不起
能不能放个大招回到 60% 血量状态然后回去守家
不出门就不会碰到天灾军团 !- -
我信佛就该祈祷

你们到底还是选择了第二属性放弃了第一属性

梦里蓝天

2008-09-26T03:14:00.000+08:00

25号结束一个月的开始
电脑归位
老爸认错
人需要鼓励
于是变得坚强
于是
你说
亲爱你的要加油努力~没有牺牲就没有胜利~
也许听到的最多的话
就是
要学着自己长大
要学着自己面对
要学着自己生活

我真的感觉我不是离不开这些哦
我真的感觉如果离开了这些还有什么意义
过得再好又怎么样
大家分崩离析
每年问候性的关怀要几次?
只会老的支离破碎

然后look backward 如果那之后过了多久原来是一辈子

既然都喜欢保持着距离关怀
我也保持着距离生存

今天一朋友问我想到太空伐我说不想
他说太空都有什么
我说太空都有悬离的粪便
我靠我们现在难道没活在太空么
太上老君头上是谁~
为什么都已经太上了头上还得有个人
人总得是神造的~

是这样的有这么一个年龄卡儿
一些人在这个年龄之后会突然冒出来
所以世界上的猴子很多造了一个孙猴子很在理~
另些人在这个年龄之前就突然消失了
所以世界上的王八很长寿
你看毒蜂子这一蛰出的
死亡的审判

所以当你说亲爱的你要加油没有牺牲就没有胜利
我突然看见了那个扭曲的失控的裂缝那个无底的极乐深渊
那里他们乐此不疲的享受彼此的精神体酣畅着彼此渗透的精灵波

我们可是出生在最赋盛名的地带~仰仗着先人幻化出来的梦
如此可观如此惬意
所以当你说亲爱的你要加油没有牺牲就没有胜利
我所有的企图和如此的万种复兴真是折腾不如折腾

十字架很漂亮
如果一个光鲜突兀不曾具备任何意义也不值得被人提起更不值得为人矜持
突兀越来越多就越来越平滑游离的人儿也不会再有顾忌了吧
毕竟如此有限啊

进化

2008-09-11T11:32:00.004+08:00

兴许我会进化成人型海豚~
转动眼球不会比休眠更真实休眠不会比梦境更真实
这些日子总有进化的感觉因为极其痛苦似乎有人将身体完全撕裂然后再重新结构重组
结果我真的以为我会进化成超人类左右脑分家不存在梦境和现实
经过不被想象颠覆的日子精神恍惚到已经无法再多联想一点点所见已足够让人坠损啦

也许我误会他们了
总是倾慕于他们为何孤独得如此坚强
为何孤独的如此顽固
为何孤独得如此畅快还欢愉了整个大西洋

后来想想当时没有注意到edie 实在是因为关于ANDY 的factory
太混乱了 ~ 那个时候的一切都太混乱了

就从我能看到的那么一点点实在很难把edie挖出来那个妖孽横行的时代~
一直痴迷于dylan 真的是由于你逛了一圈后会发现 dylan呢 dylan去哪了
你可以听到所有人的名字却愕然
怎么其实 dylan 心碎的 "play fucking loud" 不会比当时其他的行当更震慑

然而edie 太脆弱了~~ 敏感脆弱神经质但是如此美丽
进化期间重新去找了找edie 原来大家都有提到过但是都只是一句话代过
edie能被记起真的很好
也许那时她没有足够的幸运她也许足够幸运的孤独却没有足够幸运的天分去孤独

真的误会了吧！也许我还有很多人一直误会了
以为他们很孤独因为他们的孤独而自我骄傲着~ 看着他们孤独的伟大~
欣赏着孤独造就的一切奇迹
现在想来只是真的只是连边都没有碰上只是逃避现实
而他们 .....
而我们 .....

回顾下那情那景
我穿着长裙风呼呼兮深夜我从2点蹲大街到3点期待着我的惊天大礼物
结果不是他迟到而是他就在我对面和一群黑衣警察叔叔发生了争执
然而我并不晓得
我一边咒骂着那些该死的连15元的小姐也玩不起的蠢驴一边等待我的心上人
当他从那里面1个小时以后走出来的时候我差点就横尸啦~
他带了土耳其和阿富汗茶包还有打口说这是他的全部~
我在开大门的一瞬间第一句话是嘿你喜欢bob dylan么 .......
我定义不了我自己我更没法定义你
我们之间很奇怪我很小心你也很小心
一直有那么一节小小的和平的距离

突然突然觉得人别买那么多东西真的别买能不买就不买死了又带不走留着占地方买了就得自己思忖着怎么处理
虽然现在 400+的一双沙滩鞋实在不算贵但是我仍然很仇富
他们制造的垃圾远出他们消受的能耐范围
即使很可惜我没什么东西因此很难感受到时间的存在性总是含混了自己
即使没法骄傲的说这是我xxxx的东西并对自己的过去有个明确的年份事件表证明自己的过去
既无法骄傲的证明自己罢了别买那么多东西

不需要再提出问题了
你说说我笑了你知道我懂了总会有一天即使如此的矛盾

重新审美

Parasitic~

2008-09-06T14:42:00.004+08:00

richard

2008-09-05T16:51:00.002+08:00

Richard Hell
The Enlightened Depraved
by Brandon Stosuy

As a high school freshman I was accosted by a rockabilly senior, who pulled me aside for wearing a Sex Pistols shirt. "Fuck Sid Vicious," he started. "Now, Johnny Thunders, there's a survivor." I was fourteen, my knowledge of punk history fairly sketchy, but I could've mustered a better rejoinder if at the time I'd been more aware of Richard Hell.

Hell was there from the beginning. In 1974, a year after Hilly Kristal opened CBGB's and before the Bowery biker dive regularly housed punk, then no wave, Hell and Television bandmate Tom Verlaine convinced him to let them play every Sunday. "CBGB's was a private world," Hell says in the liner notes to Spurts: The Richard Hell Story, while discussing "Chinese Rocks," the track he co-wrote with Dee Dee Ramone and subsequently recorded with the Heartbreakers. Known in punk lore for inspiring Malcolm McLaren with spiked hair (perhaps inspired by Rimbaud) and ripped t-shirts, Hell recorded at least two seminal albums with The Voidoids, 1977's Blank Generation and 1982's Destiny Street. Thirty years later, skyrocketing NYC property values and $91,000 in unpaid rent finds CBGB's ready to sink.

"I think it would be good if CBGB's could remain open," Hell replies via email in response to my question regarding the same. "I guess the people who think differently believe that "market forces" should always reign. That if the place can't pull it's own weight, it should be allowed to die a natural death. I don't know what a practical way of subsidizing the place would be, if that's what it takes, but I do think there's value in its preservation, 'preservation' just meaning letting Hilly maintain operation as he has for thirty years. The place is like a little cultural time capsule. I remember how interesting it was to visit Goethe's house in Weimar and Jefferson's Monticello and Gustave Moreau's museum/residence in Paris. 'Punk' may not be Goethe but it's amazing that the location of its breeding and birth still exists exactly as it was then and it would be stupid to destroy it. It's the last vestige of that physical situation, for those who are curious. And obviously many people from all over the world are curious."

He's right, folks are intrigued by punk pioneers. And while CBGB's struggles to stay afloat, Hell's enjoying his highest profile in years. Akashic Books recently published Godlike, his second novel, and he's finally receiving reviews that discuss his prose rather than his biography. Now the ex-Neon Boys, Television, Heartbreaker, Voidoid, and Dim Star player has curated Spurts, which spans his output in chronological order, sans the two unordered, affixed bonus tracks by Dim Stars and Television, respectively.

"Those two bonus tracks are the only two out of order. I had a few reasons for doing it this way," Hell says. "Not least of which was the way it subtly (almost imperceptibly) suggested that the album already existed, and by doing that played into my vague, goofy conception of Spurts as my "only" album." He continues, "I made the album I'd most like to listen to that could be compiled from all the songs I recorded." Accordingly, he's crammed 21 tracks onto a single CD, accompanied by liner notes by Robert Christgau, Carola Dibbell, and Hell himself, along with the full text to Lester Bangs' take on the then enfant terrible.

Oddly, the early Hell doesn't feel at all dated, while his later Dim Stars material with Thurston Moore, Steve Shelley, and Don Fleming emerges as the least timeless. (Robert Quine, Hell's longtime guitarist, plays rhythm on one track. Quine committed suicide last year, and Spurts is dedicated to him.) Otherwise, there are nice opportunities for compare/contrast between The Voidoids' 1977 "Blank Generation" and Television's 1974 live version (recorded, of course, at CBGB's) as well as an early, so-called "preliminary version" of "Love Comes In Spurts" by The Neon Boys and a "completely different" version from the Voidoids.

Check out also a jittery cover of Creedence Clearwater's "Walking On The Water" and the more recent, previously unreleased "She'll Be Coming (For Dennis Cooper)," a sublimely weird homage to the Los Angeles and Paris-based transgressive author. "Well, it was more or less a 'commission,' not something I thought up independently as a song I felt compelled to write," Hell tells me. "I was asked to do it by the people who'd conceived that CD compilation (which I understand is now cancelled), and I agreed out of respect for Dennis."

It isn't the first time Hell overlapped his verbal and musical interests. I ask him, if he had to do another track based on a work of literature, what would he choose?

"There were a couple of times something I was reading gave me ideas for songs, but they took me by surprise," he notes. "They just happened when I was reading books at a time when I needed to be writing songs and the reading set off a song—"Time" was inspired by something Borges said in a poem, and "The Hunter Was Drowned" by a myth Jung was talking about. So it's not like a pattern, or habitual or anything. It happened twice. You never know, it could happen again but I don't have anything in mind."

Despite his literary mind, Hell's suspicious of the rocker-writer tag placed upon him and posits in the liner notes, "What I've done isn't about my lyrics—there's never been a rock 'n' roll song that survived on the strength of its lyrics." (I tried coming up with a list, but returned empty handed.) In conversation, he also chaffed at my terming his most famous and most rocking track, "Blank Generation," an anthem. "I don't like that word anthem, as if everyone was swearing allegiance to something a song says." In the liner notes, he expands this thought, mentioning that the song's too ambivalent to be anthemic and asking, "How can there be an ambivalent anthem?"

This nonchalant ambivalence shows again when Hell discusses the attention punk's salad days are currently receiving. "The punk era had a resurgence about ten years ago too, when Please Kill Me, Go Now [Hell's first novel], and a new album from Patti Smith (after a long period of no recording) happened all at once, and that Sex Pistols reunion tour," he says. "Maybe it's every ten years for a few decades (until we're all dead)."

Per usual, it seems he's onto something.

Hell Remembers Quine
Head Voidoid talks about his fallen guitar player
DAVID FRICKEPosted Jun 11, 2004 12:00 AM

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"Part of being a guitar player -- ninety-nine percent of it -- is being obsessive enough to spend thousands of hours listening to records and practicing," Robert Quine told me in 2001. "I've always believed in immersing yourself in good music. Sooner or later, if you have any personality or musical intelligence of your own, you'll come up with your own thing."
Quine -- who was found dead in his Manhattan home on June 5th, an apparent suicide at sixty-one -- was thrilling proof of his own theory. Beginning with his epochal solo on Richard Hell and the Voidoids' 1976 single "Blank Generation," Quine challenged the accepted low-brow standards of punk and garage-rock guitar, inventing a singular fusion of terrorism and tonality rooted in his lifelong loves of 1950s rockabilly, jazz and the Velvet Underground. He looked more like a pro bono lawyer than a guitar hero (Quine actually held a degree in law from Washington University in Missouri), and he only made two albums under his own name, both collaborations: 1981's Escape, with guitarist Jody Harris, and 1984's Basic, with ex-Material drummer Fred Maher. But with the Voidoids on the mighty 1977 Blank Generation album, as the second guitarist on Lou Reed's 1982 LP, The Blue Mask, and as a sideman on records by artists as varied as Tom Waits, Lydia Lunch, Scritti Politti, John Zorn, Lloyd Cole and Matthew Sweet, Quine elevated and transformed the songs of others with a pure fury and incisive melodicism.

"He was always trying to do the best for whatever song or piece of material he was playing at the time," says Hell, who spoke at length to Rolling Stone about Quine's music and legacy (below). "He was very raw in his playing, but also extremely sophisticated. He wasn't lurching out of control -- he needed to be there, in the song."

Last year Rolling Stone included Quine in its rollcall of "The 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time" -- in the company of many of his own heroes, including Reed, James Burton and Chuck Berry. But Quine never actively pursued celebrity. He made guitar history by listening avidly to the music that he loved, playing his guitar for hours every day and contributing only to those records and artists that moved and mattered to him. "My personal vision is to do anything I want at any time," he told me in a 1983 interview. "I don't know what I want to do until I do it or that it will be any good when I do. But I want the freedom to do it.

"That's my personal vision -- maybe it's no vision," he said pointedly. "I don't care."

Richard Hell remembers Robert Quine

What were your first impressions of Quine, when you and he worked together at Cinemabilia?

I can't remember whether it was the final days of me being in Television or if I was hooked up with the Heartbreakers. It's funny because I brought this up with him just a month or so ago. My recollection was that Quine had applied for the job there because he knew Tom Verlaine and I worked there. Quine said that wasn't the way it happened -- that he knew [Television manager] Terry Ork, who got him the job.

But I know that Quine had seen Television play, and that it was the first glimmer of hope he'd had, that there might be a place for him in music. He hadn't played in a band for six years, since college in Missouri. He had auditioned for some groups in New York, but it was completely humiliating, as usual [laughs]. A thirty-plus-year-old bald guy in a sport coat -- nobody took him seriously. Plus, none of the people in these bands had the chops that he was looking for. He wasn't interested in playing with them.

But we started talking right away. We had a lot of stuff in common. We liked the same movies and books. He was kind of beaten down -- he didn't know what the future could possibly hold for him. He hadn't gotten anywhere in music. But the stuff that was going on in New York gave him hope. So I'd go over to his place on St. Marks Place after work. We'd play records and drink martinis. Quine made a great martini.

Had you actually heard him play when you started forming the Voidoids?

Not really. He wasn't performing anywhere. But I trust my instinct. He was smart. We had everything in common. And I was learning about music from him: the old rockabilly stuff that he raved about, and some Miles Davis stuff that I didn't know about. He was clearly serious about music. He found some tapes of one of his old bands, and they sounded great. I felt like I could depend on him to be really skillful at playing roots rock & roll, but his head was also into much more exotic, freaky things. It was just what I was looking for.

I was getting restless in the Heartbreakers. I had to move on. I wanted to try things that Johnny [Thunders] and Jerry [Nolan] had no interest in whatsoever. There wasn't any point in bringing it up. So I invited Quine to play with me. I had the drummer in mind [Marc Bell], and we started messing around, looking for another guitar player [Ivan Julian]. We had a setup from the beginning; Ork wanted to do a single with me. Man, those days were so innocent compared to the way things ended up. Bob got so cantankerous. But all of us have.

What was the initial reaction to Quine and his playing when the Voidoids started doing gigs?

Because I'd been in Television and played with Thunders, people were curious about what I was going to come up with. When they saw who I'd brought in as my new guitar player -- a guy in his thirties with his button-down shirt and bald head that nobody had heard of -- they smirked. They laughed. And he never forgave those people [laughs]. This is something else I had in common with him -- anger. I would play on that when we were recording -- deliberately infuriating him, until he played a transcendent solo.

Are there specific examples of that on the Blank Generation album?

Almost every song. I would force him to play it again. I would tell him, "I didn't like this part, I didn't like that part." As a guitar player, solos were his bread and butter. So when it was time for him to take a solo, he was a gentleman who wanted to please. He never could have led a band. He had no interest in it -- he was a born sideman, who wanted to play what the songwriter needed from him. He would give you what would be best for the song.

Did you talk with him much about what a song was about or supposed to impart? He once explained to me how, on Reed's album, The Blue Mask, he worked hard to come up with a part that suited the feel and meaning of a particular song.

It was different for Reed, because Bob was coming in and playing those songs the week he learned them. We would play our songs for a year. He didn't have to do a study. I expressed what I hoped for from him with my remarks across many rehearsals and performances. It was obvious. He'd seen me do the songs night after night, rehearsing and playing them. Obviously, it's self-serving, but for me, far and away, his best soloing is on the stuff he did with me.

His playing on Blank Generation is so many things at once: explosive, colorful, and at the same time, absolutely precise.

And outrageously creative. This is something else I'd been talking with him about in the last year, because we were planning to do some things. I said to him, "Bob, I've noticed that there is one word that everybody applies to your playing, and it really gets on my nerves. It's in every review. I'm so sick of it." He couldn't guess what word I was talking about.

Is it one of the ones I just used?

No. "Angular" [laughs]. They're lazy, but I know what they're talking about. It's part of how I could always recognize his style. He had a way of suddenly shifting, going somewhere else completely on the neck for instance, by sliding, say, whereas the previous part of the solo had been staccato, or making some other sudden, radical departure from what he'd just been doing.

He had a way of skidding out of tone, where the notes actually seemed to move.

He had such a command of the neck of his guitar. But his whole life was music. And his knowledge was startling. One time, the Voidoids were driving through Appalachia, going to a gig somewhere, and we came across a radio station playing nothing but rockabilly, doo wop and Fifties rock & roll. I swear this is true: As each song started, Quine not only identified it, he announced the original release date. It was incredible. But he'd been there, and that music was the most important thing in his life. He actually saw Buddy Holly play, for instance.

When I first interviewed him, in 1983, I asked him about his solo on the original "Blank Generation" single, and he explained how it was partly inspired by the guitar break on one of his favorite records, a 1957 single by Jack Scott called "Baby, She's Gone."

I've heard him make remarks like that about various solos. I've never been able to compare any of them to the originals, because they were always so obscure. Like a poet, he would take ideas from anywhere that arose, as they arose. And he had high standards.

One thing that did annoy me about him -- which he always denied -- was that once he found a solo, he would repeat it. It was frustrating when we were touring. There might be a tiny variation, and there might be a quasi-exception on some night. But I would want, on any given night, to make everything new. And he resisted that.

But people did not appreciate his playing, anymore than they appreciated anything we did. Blank Generation was trashed in a lot of places when it came out, including Rolling Stone. Then as his reputation grew, people assumed that any interesting guitar on that record was played by him, which isn't true. Ivan contributed an incredible amount -- he came up with the intro part to "Blank Generation," which people love and assume is Bob's, and Ivan played some of the solos too.

Can you hear Quine's influence today?

The way we sounded together in the Seventies, as well as on Destiny Street (1982) -- I never thought of it as being influential, because it was too eccentric. But now for the first time, I'm hearing things that sound like they were influenced by those records: the new wave of garage rock and "art rock" -- I'm way into the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, for instance. I'm not saying that group in particular is influenced by us, but I believe I can hear us in many of these bands, and they cite us in interviews.

But Bob was completely indifferent to things like that. I mean, indifferent to what's successful in "pop" -- he certainly did like getting his due credit. I mean, he had a pretty open mind, but he also had very high and narrow standards. He wanted finesse in music -- which for him, for any true connoisseur of rock & roll, is not inconsistent with craziness and aggression. A lot of people are unaware of the finesse in Link Wray or what James Williamson did with the Stooges. They just hear in-your-face crudity and noise. Bob loved noise but he was about more than that too.

yes we can so we can

2008-09-03T07:06:00.001+08:00

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.
Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can.
It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes we can to justice and equality.
Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can repair this world.
Yes we can.
We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change. (We want change.)
We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics…they will only grow louder and more dissonant ……….. We’ve been asked to pause for a reality check. We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.
But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.
Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea: Yes We Can.

The best architecture books of 2007
Amanda Birch, Technical editor

Feilden Clegg Bradley: the environmental handbook edited by Ian Latham and Mark Swenarton
Rightangle Publishing, ?24.99.

To dedicate this ?Environmental Handbook? to Richard Feilden, who tragically died on January 3rd 2005, seems a fitting and sensitive tribute to his life. Together with his founding partners, Feilden made sustainable architecture central to the practice?s philosophy.

?This is not the usual self-regarding architectural monograph,? says Jonathan Dimbleby in his foreword to the book. ?It focuses on the way in which a concern for the environment has driven the work of the practice and even more usefully, shares with generosity the knowledge built over the years.?

This book records the environmental work the practice has done over the last 25 years from passive solar house design in the 1980s through to more complex energy equations in the institutional and commercial buildings more recently completed.

Ellis Woodman, Buildings editor

Without and Wthin by Mark Pimlott
Educational Studies Press

Mark Pimlott's Without and Within is the first full length book by one of the most incisive observers of the built environment. This magesterial description of the formation of the American urban sensibility embraced two hundred years of history from the formation of the first pioneer settlements to the ascendancy of the shopping mall as the urban paradigm to which so many buildings from the airport to the art gallery now aspire.

Pimlott paints an alarming picture, and leaves no doubt that a position of resistance is the only ethical stance that an architect can adopt.

Rory Olcayto, Senior reporter

The Age of Sinan: Architectural Culture in the Ottoman Empire, by Gulru Necipoglu
Reaktion Books, 592pp
ISBN: 1-86189-253-5

He's the greatest renaissance architect you've never heard of ? Mimar Sinan, chief architect of the Ottoman Empire - and in this book, you can read his story. Stranger, longer and more spectacular than any of his 'western' contemporaries, Sinan's life and work are brought vividly to life in this stunning biography by Harvard University's leading Islamic arts scholar Gulru Necipoglu.

Sinan is Islam's most celebrated architect, famed for transforming Istanbul's skyline with a succession of monumental domes and slender, pencil-like minarets. He also solved the city's water supply problems as it underwent a massive population growth during its 16th century golden age, and headed up a ceramics factory responsible for the beautiful blue, white and rusty red tiles that adorn his building's interiors.

A soldier half his life, he took to the drawing board aged fifty. As Mustapha Sai, his first biographer and poet friend said: "Art's soldier is he, ready to give up his life for it, Whenever with a challenging task he finds himself enlisted."

Pamela Buxton, Culture editor

Mapping London: Making Sense of the City by Simon Foxell
Black Dog Publishing, HB 288pp, ?39.95.

There?s something completely engrossing about maps, especially those packed into this great new book on London. In the wrong hands, this could?ve been a very dry, and nerdy read. But instead the fantastic variety of subject and appealing visual material in Simon Foxell?s book make it just the opposite.

Historically, it?s of interest for the insight it gives into the growth of the capital. But the real stars of the book are the maps that go beyond straight geographical representation and instead tackle themes such as bomb damage, disease, heat and poverty.

As is right and proper, there are plenty of familiar maps such as the London Underground and the A-Z, but also more quirky items such as Maxwell Robert?s curved version of the tube map and the map from the opening credits to Eastenders.

RIBA BOOKSHOP RECOMMENDS

Designers, Visionaries + Other Stories
A Collection of Sustainable Design Essays edited by Jonathan Chapman and Nick Gant
Earthscan Paperback | 224 pages | ?24.95 |Code 63072 |

This book unpacks the complex and crucial debates surrounding sustainable design.

It delivers a compelling manifesto for change, at a time of looming ecological crisis, mounting environmental legislations and limited sustainable design progress.

This is a book about sustainable design, by the leading sustainable
design thinkers.

For creative practitioners of all disciplines - professionals, students and academics.

Detail in Contemporary Residential Architecture by Virginia McLeod
Laurence King
Hardback | 240 pages | ?30.00 | Code 60807

Architectural detailing makes a building unique, and can be the difference between architectural bliss and purgatory.

Detail in Contemporary Residential Architecture provides analysis of both the technical and the aesthetic importance of details in the development of contemporary residential architecture from 2000 to 2005.

Featuring many of the world's most highly acclaimed architects, the book presents 52 of the most recently completed and influential house designs.

Exploring Boundaries The Architecture of Wilkinson Eyre by Kurt Forster and Peter Davey
Birkhauser
Hardback| 170 pages | ?39.90 |Code

The London architectural firm Wilkinson Eyre Architects, founded in 1983, has been drawing attention since the 1990s with its wealth of innovative and imaginative designs - notably its spectacular and structurally ambitious bridges.

The best-known and most highly acclaimed are the Gateshead Millennium Bridge (2001) and the Floral Street Bridge (2003).
The firm has won many prizes, including the RIBA Stirling Prize twice.

It has also demonstrated the increasingly international scope of its activities by entering the competitions for the Guangzhou West Tower in China and the Tensegrity Bridge in Washington DC, USA.

Spon's Architects? and Builders? Price Book 2008 edited by Davis Langdon
Spon Press
Hardback | 1000 pages | ?135.00
Code 62457

The most detailed, professionally relevant source of construction price information currently available for the UK.

With competition growing fiercer throughout the industry and with recent pressure on materials due to rising commodity prices, the A & B's unique Tender Index and checks against tenders are more valuable than ever before.

This is the only price book that gives a detailed cost base in a way that allows adjustment for market conditions that affect building prices for Major Works contracts exceeding ?3,000,000 in value.

Detail Practice Building with Steel Principles, Details, Examples by Alexander Reichel, Peter Ackermann, Alexander Hentschel, Anette Hochberg
Birkh䵳er
Paperback | 112 pages | ?26.90
Code 62450

Readers with a professional interest in steel engineering will find this book incredibly useful.

It covers case study projects that exemplify common norm details and readers will find these superbly illustrated by large-scale drawings.

The authors also detail the fundamentals of planning load-bearing structures and provide design and planning help

翻页~

2008-08-28T01:37:00.003+08:00

sprung in completeness
今天终于把原版的blog找到了~
就是这个``

我有一天在費城的K Mart聽到Debbie Gibson跟Tiffany
我竟然會哼
突然意識到天啊原來當年聽這些音樂的少女們
現在已經變成在K Mart撿便宜貨的歐巴桑
所以這些別處聽不到的音樂才會在這裡出現

这话谁跟我说过~?

突然感觉

真是个荒诞的collective consciousness

突然很想画图了
你看 woody guthier 忘了吧
回顾了下joy division 依旧垂涎~
他们的范是嘴子因为他们懂得起不肖显摆
而他们的范是也许把你想说的说出来了真不知道媚俗到哪个旮旯
当真跟饽饽鸡一样啦~

我想怀念下gnr
我不想说gnr 的什么 axl声音怎么了 slash 怎么
07年的砖怎么了当时多少人不做声了多少人又澎湃了
还是有喜欢的只是说不上什么了
我们也许只能沉默吧还没跨出国门大家嘴巴都挺沸扬跨出去了势必要换个姿态
就算是沉默也许我们也能在沉默中爆发想说话的人太多了
还真是想起听gnr的了
the blues 听着还是舒服抛开其他听着挺舒服

All the love in the world couldn't save you
All the innocence inside
You know I tried so hard to make you
Ooo I wanna make you change your mind

And it hurts too much to see you
And how you left yourself behind
You know I wouldn't want to be you
Now there's a hell I cant describe

So now I wander through my days
Trying to find my ways
To the feelings that I felt
I saved for you and no one else

And though as long as this road seems
I know its called the street of dreams
But that's not stardust on my feet
It leaves a taste that's bittersweet
That's called the blues

I don't know just what I should do
Everywhere I go I see you
You know its what you planned, this much is true
What I thought was beautiful, don't live inside of you anymore

I don't know just what I should do
Everywhere I go I see you
You know it's what you planned, this much is true
What I thought was beautiful, don't live inside of you anymore

What this means to me
Is more than I know you believe
What I thought of you now
Has cost more that it should for me

What I thought was true before
Were lies I couldn't see
What I thought was beautiful
Is only memories

那个瞬间

2008-08-20T23:04:00.003+08:00

我很想知道那个瞬间当我笑笑的觉得我们的希望终于开始进行了会是在以后的哪一天

刚看到xx的自传 (这个时代有点腕儿的都出自传) 写到:
80年左右，英国庞克开始入侵洛杉矶，最终变成一种与原意毫无关系的怪胎。它更像是个不可忽视的时髦宣言......
帅吧~ 前面还有他问他grandma 要 bass gm拿出一个只有一根尼龙弦的 flamenco guitar 又笑翻了呵呵

我始终学不会抓重点
写的文章跟一团稀释过度的水泥而且被露于经年降水的地方

也许以后我会感谢某个还未出现的家伙给了我一个模子把我凉一凉于是我就rock like a rolling stone 了

艾同学重庆演唱会中国的设备能出个啥除非自己带设备不过好象应该``这个问题摁。
基本没听过她的囧伯伯提到他要去嘘一下

声波和某固体频率发生共振或者我只是希望电话想起~
我那天做梦梦到我抵在他肩膀上埋进去哭出生很悲哀
我要加油加油当个好女孩

双二

2008-08-19T17:54:00.002+08:00

也许那时我们真的是十几岁的姑娘

NC

2008-08-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

Have mercy on me, sirAllow me to impose on youI have no place to stayAnd my bones are cold right throughI will tell you a storyOf a man and his familyAnd I swear that it is trueTen years ago I met a girl named JoyShe was a sweet and happy thingHer eyes were bright blue jewelsAnd we were married in the springI had no idea what happiness a little love could bringOr what life had in storeBut all things move toward their endOn that you can be sureLa la la la la la la la la laLa la la la la la la la la laThen one morning I awoke to find her weepingAnd for many days to followShe grew so sad and lonelyBecame Joy in only nameWithin her breast there launched an unnamed sorrowAnd a dark and grim force set sailFarewell happy fieldsWhere joy forever dwellsHail horrors hailWas it an act of contrition or some awful premonitionAs if she saw into the heart of her final blood-soaked nightThose lunatic eyes, that hungry kitchen knifeAh, I see, sir, that I have you attention!Well, could it be?How often I've asked that questionWell, then in quick successionWe had babies, one, two, threeWe called them Hilda, Hattie and HollyThey were their mother's childrenTheir eyes were bright blue jewelsAnd they were quiet as a mouseThere was no laughter in the houseNo, not from Hilda, Hattie or Holly"No wonder," people said, "poor mother Joy's so melancholy"Well, one night there came a visitor to our little homeI was visiting a sick friendI was a doctor thenJoy and the girls were on their ownLa la la la la la la la la laLa la la la la la la la la laJoy had been bound with electrical tapeIn her mouth a gagShe'd been stabbed repeatedlyAnd stuffed into a sleeping bagIn their very cots my girls were robbed of their livesMethod of murder much the same as my wife'sMethod of murder much the same as my wife'sIt was midnight when I arrived homeSaid to the police on the telephoneSomeone's taken four innocent livesThey never caught the manHe's still on the looseIt seems he has done many many moreQuotes John Milton on the walls in the victim's bloodThe police are investigating at tremendous costIn my house he wrote, "Red right hand"That, I'm told, is from Paradise LostThe wind round here gets wicked coldBut my story is nearly toldI fear the morning will bring quite a frostSo I've left my homeI drift from land to landI am upon your step and you are a family manOutside the vultures wheelThe wolves howl, the serpents hissAnd to extend this small favour, friendWould be the sum of earthly blissDo you reckon me a friend?The sun to me is darkAnd silent as the moonDo you, sir, have a room?Are you beckoning me in?

舍不得

2008-08-18T00:25:00.000+08:00

实在舍不得看小说
来来去去男男女女
看得人怅惘纠结
总被责不懂人情事故

我倒宁愿看着地图上的小人划圈迁移线条裂变

真到了被所有人抛弃的地步？
伯伯说骄傲点抛弃所有人才好
试问我真的努力抓住过什么
哲学家看言情小说么不然怎这纠结

胃部过度空虚一个礼拜竟然飚了7斤
要提7斤肉在手上才能知道我离我90斤的目标偏移了多少
上了大学从90到110就降不下来了
真的是没事做了
路上见到很bea的黑色吊带裙口水啊
减下去兴许我也是一美人
姑且这样想着给点气力减减肥

还有一个月见分晓
天知道会发生什么

blur和suede打架的时候
jd的时候
好朋友怎么回事看看tw和nc就知道了

事情还是只等慢慢来慢慢等急不得

只是为什么作文题目总是叫人辨驳哲学和科技伪善
乱乎不乱

人的十个指拇即使是两根中指也总有一根要长点
事情总会就这么偏向那一边了

终于买到西北偏北的碟子了
听mp3会把人听到崩溃听了这么多年的mp3
还要憋足气脸红脖子粗几年才能买上理想的音响
有个自己的小窝玩玩 stereo-

再憋吧

今天玩游戏邻街一朋友说得到好
你要是前期不憋着点后期咱还搞毛
所谓dota 精神囧

今天还真遇到一群猪一般的盟友